


Baijiu

by HecatesKiss



Series: Between Missions ~ 00Q [1]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 10:41:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6113994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HecatesKiss/pseuds/HecatesKiss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Quartermaster receives a rather disturbing present from one of the Double-ohs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baijiu

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chestnut_NOLA](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chestnut_NOLA/gifts), [Arel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arel/gifts).



> Beta'd by the lovely vernie_klein. She also made sure that certain bits would be viable when they made it back to English soil.
> 
> First ever 00Q piece. I totally blame Helena, who gets this story ^_^ as well as Chestnut_NOLA who I also blame for having written wonderful works that sucked me so deeply in.

“Welcome back, 007.” The Quartermaster said, hands tucked behind his back as he watched the agent lean against the table for a moment. A pair of bags were slung over a shoulder. He blinked. “How much of my gear do I get back this time?”

Bond said nothing as he pulled out the Walther, laid it on the table and then fished out a Fairbairn–Sykes fighting knife. Q wiped his hands on his black checkered slacks and plucked up the blade, which was missing the tip and… apparently had been shot through. It was solid metal. Q sighed and set it down gently.

“You also get the watch back, and the earwig is in two pieces, Q.” The Double-oh laid the two pieces of the communications earwig on the table and unfastened the watch. He then slung off one of the bags after staggering over to a clearer space. Q narrowed his eyes. He wasn’t aware of Bond having been injured during the latest mission, but that unsteadiness suggested it.

“And, I snagged this post firefight.” Bond unzipped the case and slipped a laptop from its protective housing. He popped it open but did not try to boot the machine up, for which Q was thankful of. He had yelled proper handling protocol into the Agents’ heads after nearly having a laptop blow up on him once.

“It’s retinal and print locked.” Q muttered. Bond nodded and slid the other case loose. He set it gently on the table, zipped it open and fished out a bottle of chinese _Baijiu_. It was set on the counter with a small smirk. Q opened his mouth to yell, and then realized there was an _eyeball_ with a bit of the optic nerve intact floating in the liquid.

“What the bloody fuck?!” Q managed, gaping as the glass clicked against the counter and James plucked out a smaller bottle in which a thumb serenely bobbed, the mangled end of the second joint garrish under the light.

“I assumed it would be so locked and brought you the tools needed to unlock it.” 007 shrugged while the Quartermaster simply stared, his bright blue cardigan rumpled and the lime green button down below it showing his sudden pallor.

“You… you brought me a thumb and an eyeball? Seriously? You probably have destroyed both by marinating them in spirits!”

“It’s sterile saline, I swiped it from a vet clinic in Guizhou province. I used the chinese vodka bottles because they were closest to hand for the items in question. It is also better presentation than a plastic bag, Quartermaster.”

“Presentation?” Q muttered even as he adjusted his frames and stared at the eye again.

“I believe I have returned everything, except for the explosives I was also issued. You witnessed the way I employed them, I do believe.”

“Yes, 007. Very well done, even if you did return with a mangled piece of steel that in no way resembles a knife.” Q muttered under his breath, straightening the deep plum tie. He froze as Bond’s blue eyes pinned him with a stare. And then a slow, predatory smile spread over his face.

“I am glad to see my tie survived the mission, Q. I will not expect it back.”

The door swished shut behind the retreating agent before the Quartermaster had gathered his wits around him again. He blinked a time or two and then shook his head as he skimmed his fingers down the heinously expensive bit of silk.

At least his lover had excellent taste in clothing… even if much of the time the man couldn’t be depended on to bring back gear in working order… if it was brought back at all. He glanced up when the door whispered open and R poked her head in.

“Quartermaster? I can finish up 007’s inventory while you… are those body parts?!”

“Bond brought us back a laptop and the ability to unlock it.” Q managed, nodding curtly, knowing it would not do well to appear squeamish before even his second in command. She merely gaped.

With a slight shudder, Q collected the laptop and both bottles with human bits floating in them and walked towards the Faraday Cage Room. He didn’t realize he was whistling under his breath until several of his minions stared after him wide eyed. He turned as one of his people made an uneasy noise.

“Yes?”

“Bond was dripping blood from his left leg, sir. Three of us called Security and had him escorted to medical.” 

“Bloody idiot, what did he pull now?” Q growled as he closed his eyes.

“The docs say he was stabbed in the side. The bandage bled through, he’ll be fine after actual stitches.” 

Q jerked and stared up wide eyed at 003. The man only rolled his grey eyes and offered a lazy salute. “Thank you, 003.”

“He sent me down to make sure you were aware. Now I have to find him a set of flowers, since he managed to have to stop for treatment. If you will excuse me, Quartermaster… I believe yellow roses are lovely this time of year…” 

The Agent walked off humming. Q shook his head and squashed his own grin, knowing that each of the Double-oh Agents sent the others flowers any time they ended up in medical… and James Bond hated yellow roses. He nodded to his subordinates, who scrambled away after some ice for the body parts to rest in. He waited for the door to shut behind him before he grinned.

His lover was home, in one piece, and had actually brought back _extra_ tech. Tonight he might just have to reward _his_ particular agent.


End file.
